Here we go my fellow Dunatics! The biggest weekend of the year is fast approaching... Most of you are out there burning the midnight oil, frantically running errands, chasing down that last part and polishing your beloved machines to an eye dazzling shine. Mom is scrubbing, cleaning and stocking the RV with untold delicious bebidas y comidas for the trip. Getting ready for the pilgrimage to Mecca, perhaps even Nirvana...Glamis, California!

  For those of you readers that have never been, it is the biggest off road party on the planet. There is nothing that compares, anywhere. A throng of as many as 200,000 off roaders will swell the many destinations in the Imperial Dunes this year. Buttercup Valley, Gordons Well, Mammoth Wash, Gecko Road and Glamis. Making the Imperial Sand Dunes National Recreation Area not only the most visited OHV park in the world, but the most visited National Recreation Area in the country of any type, period.

  The action is intense, dangerous, loud and sheer motorized insanity. Calling to mind the display Humungous performed outside the refinery fortress in "Road Warrior" would be a gross understatement. Thanksgiving at Glamis is pure mayhem, and defines the word "extreme". The beer, the whiskey and the racing fuel will flow at a pace that defies imagination. The trickest off road vehicles on the planet will fill the dunes. Machines that have taken hundreds, even thousands of of hours to execute as well as... you guessed it... TURKEYS!   You know how much I love quoting those guys at Websters! tur*key (noun), plural turkeys  First appeared 1555 2 : FAILURE, FLOP; especially : a theatrical production that has failed 4 : a stupid, foolish, or inept person     

  This is Turkey Day! And the dune's will be full of 'em, big ones, little ones, old ones, young ones and even ones with big succulent breasts dripping in gravy. They're easy to spot, they usually are drunk, have no helmet , no goggles, no lights, no gloves and are riding wheelies through your camp. It is acceptable to shoot them. I have just been advised by the BLM that Turkey season this year will carry no limits on the hunt, and no fees, licenses or tags will be required. It's open season!

  Now, I'm no prude, and I ain't gonna tell ya not to do anything stupid or dangerous. I'll be drunker and louder than most of you.  But if you're a Turkey, you should be shot. God created the desert so we could all have a place to go to behave like complete and total assholes without fear of reprisal, and he created campgrounds so we could have a place to rest and not choke on the dust from other revelers. The dunes are gonna be packed, let's all show some courtesy. It's the duty of the more experienced duners to lead by example. Yeild to slower and less skilled riders, and pick up your God damned trash! Get drunk, howl at the moon, violate the laws of physics and risk your own ass. But don't risk the safety of others. Alot of us are going to get hurt Thanksgiving Weekend, many seriously, and some of us will even be killed. This is a risk we accept., glady. But we accept alone. It's our right to kill ourselves, not to kill or injure others. The risk is what makes our sport the incredible rush that it is. Embrace it, challenge it, drink it in and enjoy adrenaline for the potent drug it is. But as with any drug, respect it!

  The mind controling liberal elitists will be watching (read last months article if you haven't). They are going to count the dead, the maimed and the crippled, and hold us accountable. Basically, screw them. But keep in mind we are setting an example. This is the highest profile event in off roading next to the Baja 1000. The eyes of the world are upon us. In a way we are all ambassadors for our sport. Be an asshole, you've earned it, but don't be a Turkey!

  If you see a Turkey, do your part! Get out your gun, shoot their ass, pluck 'em, stuff 'em, take their cleaned and gutted carcass back to the RV. Bake them in the oven 20 minutes per pound at 350 degrees, basting with Golden Spectro liberally until done. Serve them up and feast away!

 Have a happy Thanksgiving! Ride hard, ride safe and we'll see you at Boardmanville so you can buy me a beer!

  Mr.Dune

Be sure to check out readers responses at Mr. Dune's Readers Write